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Aarle-Rixtel, 18 April 2006
In the early morning after the meditation one was seated on the bed at the southeast side of the long but small monastery room. The curtains in front of the six little windows at the westside of the room were opened, although a glance through the bottom four windows stayed somewhat veiled by a net curtain. The focus of the glance moved towards the clear right top window, and in that movement could inside and outside almost in one glance be perceived.
Outside had dawn made its entry, and the deck of clouds showed the twilight at the background in a cool blue-grey color. At the foreground could through that window the branches of a big tree be seen. The tree was still without leaf, and against the background of the twilight colored only black could the freakishness of the branches well be discerned. With the absence of wind there was no twig moving and they were like still frozen. On one of these branches was sitting a big black crow, alone, and as motionless as the branches themselves. Cool, sober and freakish was the scene framed by the white wooden strips in which the window was held.
The scene outside stood in sharp contrast with the scene inside. No cool blue-grey twilight, but a warm yellow light of a globe lamp above the sink set the tone for the atmosphere in the room. On a chair that was placed in front of the bed was burning a little candle of which the flame was a small but bright focus of the yellow and warm light. Bare, black and freakish branches were not on which one was seated, but a soft bed with a yellow silky blanket and a firm orange-yellow meditation pillow made the sitting down very comfortable. The warmth that spread from the on mark three opened heater completed an atmosphere of delightful comfort.
Thus perceiving brought the perceived an inner given to the fore. For when not centered in the inside room of one's own innerness can a being alone be a cold, dark and freakish experience. A being lost in despair. Centered in the own innerness however becomes a being alone, a deep and intrinsic being alone, a delightful warm comfort in which cold nor freakishness are experienced as reality.
That morning there was in the small monastery an intrinsic being alone. And centered in the inner room of the own innerness it was a delightful comfort. A delightful comfort that not went lost when several moments later would be stepped into the cold outside.